The Heart of the Matter: How to reDEFYne Your Leadership Through Emotional Intelligence

Photo by Michael Fenton on Unsplash

In the high-stakes world of executive decision-making, we are rewarded by prioritizing logic, data, and "hard" metrics. Yet, the most influential leaders know that the strongest engine of innovation and collaboration isn't a spreadsheet—it's the human heart.

This February, as we all focus on love and connection for Valentine's Day, I'd like to explore how understanding human emotion can reDEFYne our leadership effectiveness. It's important to understand what we feel, and how to move from reacting to emotions to strategically utilizing them as a leadership strength and growth opportunity.

Are you ready to stop managing emotions and start leading with them?

Mapping the Emotional Landscape

In her transformative work Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown argues that "Language is our portal to meaning-making, connection, healing, learning, and self-awareness." For a senior leader, this isn't just "soft skill" talk; it’s a way to drive for operational excellence. Brown goes on to say that when we lack the vocabulary to identify what we—or our teams—are feeling, we lose the ability to navigate through high-pressure transitions, conflicts, and creative blocks.

As Brown notes:

"The limit of my language means the limit of my world. When we don't have the words to describe our experiences, we're not just at a loss for words; we're at a loss for how to navigate what’s happening."

In the C-Suite, being a leader means recognizing that behind every "unproductive" meeting or "difficult" employee is an emotion that hasn't been truly understood.

Emotions as Data, Not Distractions

Think of emotions like a dashboard in a high-performance vehicle. A "negative" emotion like frustration or anxiety isn't a sign of failure but rather a warning light indicating that a core value is being threatened or that a boundary has been crossed. Conversely, joy and curiosity are signals that your team is in "flow" and are prime for great innovation.

Authentic leadership requires leaders to be curious about these dashboard signals. Instead of shutting down a tense executive session, a leader in tune with emotions and strategically aligned to manage them might instead ask: "I’m sensing some hesitation in the room. What are we afraid might happen if we pivot this strategy?" This shifts the energy from defensive to collaborative.

Your Leadership "Heart" Strategy: 3 Actionable Steps

To lead with influence and inspiration, you must first master your internal atlas. Here are three ways to start this week:

• Audit Your Emotional Vocabulary: When you feel "stressed," dig deeper. Are you actually feeling overwhelmed (too many tasks) or anxious (uncertainty about the future)? Naming the specific emotion reduces its power over you and allows for a clearer solution. (If you don't know where to start, I highly suggest that you read Atlas of the Heart. Consider taking inventory of your emotions with an app like "How We Feel" to track your emotions over time.)

• The 90-Second Rule: Science suggests that the chemical flush of an emotion lasts about 90 seconds. When a high-stakes email or board comment triggers you, wait 90 seconds. Let the "chemical wave" pass before you respond. This is the difference between reacting and leading.

• Practice "Stewardship Listening": In your next 1:1 with a direct report, focus less on the "to-do" list and more on the "to-be" state. Ask: "What’s been the most energizing part of your week, and what’s been the most draining?" Listen for the emotions behind the answers.

reDEFYning Your Impact

Leadership is often lonely at the top, but it shouldn't be emotionally vacant. By embracing the fact that to be human means you will have emotions, you can more readily foster a culture of inclusion and psychological safety where creativity actually stands a chance. You don’t have to have all the answers; you just need the courage to stay curious.

As Brené Brown reminds us:

"Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome."

Take the Next Step

Understanding the intricacies of your own emotional "atlas" and how it impacts your executive presence is a journey best traveled with a guide. At WeInspireWe, we help high-level decision-makers harness these insights to drive organizational change. If you are ready to sharpen your influence and lead a more inspired, effective organization, let's talk.

Ready to dive deeper? Explore our coaching programs and leadership resources at www.weinspirewe.com and let’s reDEFYne what’s possible for your leadership.

---

Tami Chapek, CEO and Founder, WeInspireWe

About Tami Chapek and WeInspireWe: Tami Chapek, Founder of WeInspireWe and the architect of the Leadership reDEFYned framework, believes that the most powerful leaders are those who aren't afraid of their own humanity. Her mission is to help executives find the clarity and courage to lead authentically—recognizing that emotional intelligence isn't a weakness, but the very foundation of strength and influence. Tami’s journey proves that sustainable leadership is rooted in deep self-awareness and a thriving Authentic Community.

To explore how strengthening connection can transform your leadership culture, visit us at www.weinspirewe.com or schedule time with Tami today to explore bespoke coaching and training solutions.