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Uncovering the True Motivations Behind Your Leadership: Insecurity or Impact?
- Mike Clouse
- Apr 2
- 2 min read
There’s a subtle temptation in leadership that not many of us talk about — the desire to prove ourselves instead of simply showing up to serve.
It can sound like:
“Will they respect me?”
“Did I say the right thing?”
“Was that enough?”
And beneath all of that: “Am I enough?”
Whether we’re leading teams, building businesses, or guiding clients, it’s easy to slip into a performance mindset — making decisions out of fear that soothe our insecurities rather than create true impact. The tricky part is that from the outside, it can all look like leadership.
But on the inside, we’re leading from a place of insecurity and fear that is quietly asking to be validated. That need for validation doesn’t just show up as over-performing or overcompensating; sometimes it looks like holding back. When we’re insecure and unaware of it, we either push to prove…or pull back to hide, trying to avoid being exposed or rejected in the process.
I recently coached a thoughtful, high-capacity leader who was feeling that internal tension. Her work was meaningful and fast-paced, but the weight of trying to be everything for everyone was starting to wear her down. There were moments when she went into overdrive to prove she could handle it all — and others when she quietly disengaged, not wanting to get it wrong or disappoint. We named it for what it was: a need for validation because her self-worth and identity were conflated with her performance and subsequent outcomes. Once she could see that, she began to shift — from performing to showing up with presence and purpose.
What she needed most wasn’t more strategy or feedback. She needed the reminder: you have nothing to prove and no reason to hide. New strategies and greater impact
followed as the result of a transformational shift in mindset.
That’s a message I’ve had to return to myself more times than I can count. Because the truth is:
Validation is about self-protection. Impact is about contribution.
When we lead from a need to be validated, our energy is focused inward — on managing impressions, fixing feelings, or earning approval. But when we lead from security, we’re free to focus outward — to serve, influence, and create lasting change. That’s the kind of leadership the world needs.
Reflection + Application
Where are you trying to prove your worth in your leadership right now?
Where might you be holding back to avoid being invalidated?
What would shift if you trusted you are already enough — no proving or hiding
required?
What’s one way you can show up this week from a place of impact, not
insecurity?
Mike Clouse, The WeInspireWe Belief Coach, is a certified professional coach with double-digit years of experience in coaching, advising and mentoring others to step into full belief of themselves resulting in greater leadership and long-term potential.
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