Updated: Nov 1
Warning: this post is TMI about me.
In winter of 2019, my condo was flooded and I was displaced for 10 months.
In the spring of 2019, I had a cancer scare.
Throughout all of 2019 (and still today) I’ve been fighting 3 insurance companies to repay the damages and am still out a significant amount of money.
I thought I had gotten through the worst of it, and then 2020 hit.
And you all know the gist from here – global pandemic, economic recession, and heartbreak from a broken society and inadequate leadership across all parties in the US.
Layer on top of that my personal struggle with depression from isolation, weight gain and lost focus on my overall health and well-being, lost business opportunities and contracts, multiple close and personal friends moving away, and most recently, heartbreak from a break-up and a lost friendship.
OK. ENOUGH. I’VE HAD ENOUGH AND AM CALLING FOR MERCY.
I sit here writing this and reflecting on all of the crappy things that have happened to me and around me in the last 2 years. I feel sad and frustrated and a little embarrassed to write it all out.
Is this really my story?
In many ways, I feel like I have just been “surviving” the last two years. And if that’s all I choose to focus on, then that is a very accurate story to tell you. (One that I am sure you can find relatable too!) But that’s not the full story.
In all things, I know that I have choice. Maybe not choice in these things happening to me and around me, but I do have choice in how I react to them and how much I let them manage and control me.
“Setbacks are the platform for your comeback”
Setbacks happen. They can teach us so much if we really pay attention. They can remind us what we really want. Or reinforce the depth of who we really are. They also give us time and space to heal, grow and develop into something so much more powerful than before.
“The comeback is always stronger than the setback”
Getting from A to B in a comeback isn’t easy. Believe me, it’s been a long two years to get there and I can’t fully say I am on the other side of it. BUT it’s worth it. It’s so worth it!
So how do we go about shifting that energy from the setback to the comeback?
Give yourself the time and space to deal
This means you may fluctuate with sadness, anger, frustration, hopelessness, grief, rumination…and more. And it doesn’t feel good. BUT it’s your body’s natural way of processing the issue and healing. Sometimes we have to sit in the junk for a minute or two (or a few more) to really get through it.
Ask yourself what are the possibilities in the situation
Get creative and consider why this thing/situation is happening. Come at it from all possible angles. Consider how it can teach you and help you to grow. Reflect on whether it will enable greater change or opportunities for you. Dig into what this might teach you to become an even better person. Ask whether it can help you to help others in the long run.
Make a decision about what it really means
As you’ve navigated the ins and outs of the issue, what comes up for you? Where does your gut lead you in the why and the opportunity around the issue/situation? Truly listen to your body, your heart, your mind, and your soul. And once you’ve landed on how this challenge can really evolve you, then own it. Live it, breathe it, do it…take it to heart and allow that setback to truly propel you into something even greater. After all, the more we look for the bad, the more we find it. The more we look for the good, the more we see. Waffling is normal but the more you go back into catabolic energy, the more harm you are causing you and only you. Own your decision to grow from it and begin to take action toward this new version of you.
“When life unexpectedly knocks you down, make an unexpected comeback”
You are always at choice – even when the bad stuff gets in the way. There are no guarantees that life is easy and that things will get better, but you are guaranteed a choice in how you react to it. By focusing on how you can grow – and allow these difficult situations to strengthen you – you will truly make a comeback.
If you are on the 2-year struggle-bus [or insert your own timeframe] like I was, and need someone in your corner to support you in the comeback, I am here for you. Any time. Every time.