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How to Consciously Create a Life of Joy

Updated: Feb 14, 2023

Photo Courtesy of Clay Banks

I’m entering a new season in life. The onslaught of emails and advertisements over the past few months or so stirred up a lot of energy for me about the anticipation of what’s ahead. In seeing all of those marketing activities, I felt a sense of urgency that triggered a response to get into goal-related action

Of course, I want results, so I find myself wanting to say, ‘Yes’ to the opportunity to try a new meal plan, work with a naturopathic doctor, enroll in a course, add another credential and so on. In some cases, I feel an urgent need, but I had to stop and ask myself "am I really clear about what that need is"?

So, I’ve been quiet for a few weeks. I took a moment to rest, to be still and to listen for divine guidance and direction. In my stillness, I was reminded of many things in my quest to create a life full of joy. A joyful life that I consciously choose.

That brings me to my first reminder that I would like to share with you on how to consciously create a life of joy.

Reminder #1: We’ve been conditioned to "DO-ing”

Many of the praise and acknowledgment that we get in life comes from working hard, the busy-ness of achievement, acquiring things and self-sacrifice. The imprint is so deep in us that jumping on the "achievement train" can be instinctive.

Photo Courtesy of Eden Constantino

There’s nothing wrong with achievement when we consciously choose it. However, when we are not intentionally approaching the activity required to achieve the desired results, it can come at a cost.

The cost is the joy, peace and freedom that we expected to feel when we realize the achievement.

This brings up my second reminder.

Reminder # 2: Use feelings as a compass

A new season of life evokes a great deal of emotions for many of us and is different for everyone. Some may feel excitement and enthusiasm. Others may experience anxiety or overwhelm from the pressure to reinvent themselves, complete unfinished tasks or actualize dreams.

Powering through is a common practice. As a society, we are just starting to grant ourselves permission to be OK with our emotions that come with it. For some, it hasn’t felt safe yet for us to feel.

Emotions are our body's way of communicating that something needs our attention. There is value in honoring those feelings. Giving them space to breathe offers insight. It aligns you with what’s most important. Joy, peace and freedom are my core desired feelings. I can use my core desired feelings to guide my next steps by asking:

  • Does this lead to joy?

  • Do I feel at peace about this?

  • How will this choice create more freedom?

What are your desired core feelings?

Pause for a moment to compassionately check in.

Reminder #3: Power of Choice

These moments of anticipation or focus on making a shift is not about creating a new you, but aligning to a truer you that connects with who you are at your core.

Soul care is deeper than a relaxing bath or spa day. It’s not meant to be a 911 emergency reserved for burn out. This is about self-agency. It’s a choice to honor all of you within your personal and professional relationships. You can powerfully align your choices with what ensures that your spiritual, physical, and emotional needs are consistently met.

You may have an “I’ll be happy when...” story. But, you deserve to be happy now - not after you complete the next project.

Let’s play with this possibility. You are the co-creator of your own destiny. This means you have the power to detach your personal joy, peace, and freedom from outcomes, expectations, approval, and external validation.

You have a right to choose to:

  • Release the “I’ll be happy when . . .”

  • Release the need to prove your value, defend your point of view, or protect your right to exist

  • Release external expectations forced upon you

  • Reject the concept of sacrifice, suffering, forcing, and powering through

  • Release guilt associated with prioritizing your needs over others

You also have a right to choose to:

  • Play with curiosity and desire

  • Listen to your body and your emotions

  • Graciously embrace what feels good

Photo Courtesy of Florian Schmetz

Reminder #4: The Power of Yes...and the Power of No

Earlier I said I was still because I was seeking divine guidance. Here’s what I didn’t share. I set the intention to rest over the holidays. The truth is - rest was forced upon me. I was physically ill and emotionally exhausted. The cause: I said, "Yes" to activities that left me depleted at the end of the year.

"Yes" and "No" are two short but powerful words. They’re both simultaneously at play in our choices. When you say, ‘Yes’ to one thing, you are literally saying, “No" to something else. Therefore, it’s important to get clear about how to use your "Yes" and your "No" in support of your well-being.

This is where I invite you to slow down for a moment of gentle contemplation.

Are you clear about what you say "Yes" to?

Notice when you’re reacting to a fear-based impulse of what you may lose versus choosing from a place of discernment, with clarity of what you may gain.

Recognizing the value and power of "Yes" or "No" is immeasurable. Sometimes a conscious and courageous "No" yields more satisfying and fulfilling results.

I say "Yes" to a life of harmony, ease, and flow. I choose to remain aware of what’s present. I choose to identify what I desire instead. I choose to make decisions that support and align with those desires.

This calls for a deeper level of trust and faith. I surrender to divine guidance. I trust this process. I choose to say "Yes" to less force and more ease. I choose to consciously align my actions with true desires.

I have faith that standing in my new choice will lead to sustainable joy, peace and freedom. I hold space in my heart for you to receive that as well.

Before I go, I invite you to create space on your calendar to connect with the deeper meaning behind your aspirations.

Here’s to consciously creating a life you truly enJOY!


My name is Melanie Foote-Davis and I am The Fulfillment Coach for WeInspireWe. With over 20 years of experience in leadership, training and team development, I discovered that my desire to live and work in harmony was a driving force in my life and is central to my coaching. Through my attention to detail, ability to resolve conflict, reduce employee turnover and support retention, and build relationships, my clients walk away with a stronger connection to themselves and to the worlds they serve. If you are ready to step into a more conscious version of yourself, I’d be honored to guide and support your journey. I invite you to schedule a call with me.


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